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  My awesome birthday present
 Added by Lord_Nougat  Sundae Januember 11st - 21:43:66 PST;

Today we took the folks sailing, it was awesome.

We all expected mom to hate it and be a spaz, but she loved it and made me sail out the breakwater onto the open ocean, in addition to up the main channel for some sight seeing. It was a gorgeous day, warm and ideal for sightseeing. There were TWO species of porpoise [or apparently dolphins - some day I'll learn the differences!] swimming around even! Little two-tone gray and white ones, and the bigger silvery looking ones. Lovely. Additionally, making us all regret having forgotten our cameras, there was an enormous barge with 3 HUGE cranes on it being towed by 3 tugs with police boat escort. It was just so profoundly top heavy and crazy looking, we've never seen anything like it! It was a little like this, except on a barge and much more crazy looking.

It was almost dark by the time we got in, and the breeze was faltering. As we crept along at maybe one knot, probably a fraction of a knot though really, mom started getting annoyed with our slow progress as she was getting cold as the sunset replaced the days warmth with colours in the sky. She wanted me to motor the rest of the way in, which horrified me, as we're a SAIL boat! We sail, that motor is just there for if we really NEED it.

Well, like some sort of fate or providence or whatever, some nice looking folks in a big shiny sailboat came powering along near us having just come about for no apparent reason. He says something I can't quite make out as we come within hailing distance that I assume to be a joke about us trying to sail in with this puny excuse for a breeze, but he also mentioned something about the tide being really low [which I already knew about, but smugly announced that with a mere 3 foot draft, we're impervious to shallows or some such claptrap] and he'd go help if it weren't for his 4 and a half foot draft. Huh? I look ahead around the corner of the docks where there are people standing around and pointing out the vessel aground on the "secret" sandbar in our turning basin. (The sandbar is not really secret, per se, it's just weirdly marked with CAUTION bouys... which are not actually directly over the actual sandbar.) It looked exactly like "Fair Winds", a lovingly refitted and immaculately redone old ketch built in the early 60s or so. Our friend Leroy ran aground on that sandbar and I was going to try to rescue him. I fired up the engine, and after a good few pulls on the starting cord, it snarfed to life with it's customary fumes and noise. I motored to nearby his vessel to offer a tow, but he jovially waved us on from the bowsprit where he was merrily "accepting the punishment for going aground, and was patiently awaiting the return of the tide" to free him, in an approximation of his words.

I slowly motored toward his bow to creep by and make sure he didn't want help, and... I ran agound too! They say that eventually every sailor runs aground, usually on a sandbar, but I had somehow decided that this rule was not applicable to me. Well, it turns out it is. As an aside, my mom, this being her 1st time sailing on an actual sailboat, felt the keel squish into the mud and said she felt something, which is fortunate because even though I sort of felt it too, it did not register on my apparently feeble psyche. I immediately threw the little motor into reverse and opened her throttle like I very seldom ever do, watching us slowly back up - much more slowly than we should have been going at that throttle setting, but we were free and moving and were soon off that sandbar . We learned our lesson and crept off to our slip just up the way to put out little boat away properly.

Ah yes, which reminds me, I then finally tried on my last birthday present! The folks got me a new sailcover to replace the old falling apart one we had been struggling with. We'd devised a system involving 3 short lengths of line, some bungee cords, and the last few remaining snaps to affix the old one, but it never really covered the mainsail as well as I'd like, and it really was falling apart. Sally stitched up it's most falling apart seams, but the weather collaborated to deteroriate these repairs more quickly than we had imagined it would. The new sailcover came just in time and looks incredibly beautiful! I really should have taken a picture to post with this, and will do tomorrow I think. It's wonderful! I'll add more story to this then too.

Now I need to remember how to post stuff on this site again! I automated it it so retardedly, it's interface would make no sense to anyone other than me, and it hardly makes sense to me as it stand s either! Perhaps I'll make use of that wiki thing. I really should.

 Something completely different!  |  Comments, maybe even more
  We're Baaaack!
 Added by Lord_Nougat  Thorsday May 17st - 13:13:66 PST;

Okay, so you might have noticed some downtime there for a little while there that I hope I told you about, but seeing that there is no mention of this move and the accompanying downtime on this here page, I imagine I forgot to tell someone. I blame fuel costs.

So, anyway... long story short: We moved from the palace in the capital of skid row, to our faraway land in exile. I ordered really good DSL 2 months in advance, just to make sure there would be hardly any downtime. Well so much for that idea - they didn't complete that order until last week. In the meantime, I decided to "get creative" [in quotation marks because in retrospect it was clearly more stupid than creative] and got us on cable. Well, cable is incredibly horrible and useless, as demonstrated by the total lack of bandwidth as well as the total blockage of any incoming traffic. The "modem" they sent is not even user configurable! It says this tight on their site too!

Well, our new dsl suddenly got set up so I ditched the cable, only to discover my old router that handled port forwarding and all that had gone missing in the move. No big loss, it sucked and had to pe periodically powercycled to restore the connection anyway. The new one looks visually very nearly identical, except now it has a dumb light and button on the front of it that says Cisco. yay. Well, as you may have noticed, the server is back up again, plugged into this new router [and horribly unredundant UPS-less power, dangit]. Tra la la! Here's a picture of a generator. An harmonic generator, apparently.
 nothing worth looking at!  |  Comments, maybe even more

  Farewell to a fallen hero
 Added by Lord_Nougat  Wenzday Novembuary 29st - 13:33:66 PST;

Early this morning, around 0100 I was jolted semi-awake by something, as was Lady_Nougat. A half hour or so later, I got a call from my dad, letting me know that Papa had died. Papa was my grandfather, essentially the family patriarch, and my hero. After this call it was quite difficult getting back to sleep.

I had a dream. We were at Papa's house, and papa was climbing up a ladder outside the dining room window. It was even higher up than in real life, but you know how dreams can be. I was quite worried he'd fall off the ladder, so rushed to get out there and catch him if he fell, or at least try to steady the ladder, but then before I'd gotten out the back door, saw that he'd already come in through the window somehow [someone had opened it I guess, and in the dream version there are no screens on windows or something, apparently. Stupid details do not matter there.] I was pretty happy to see him so able to move about himself again - no further trace of cancer or any ailment at all, a side from seeming a bit tired, possibly disoriented. He says to me, quietly, "I don't want to talk about any of that stuff." and I understand completely: the whole hospital experience, and the sudden loss of abilities to talk or even move must have been dreadful. For some reason I notice his hair seems to have more white, and it's thinner than I recall - perhaps he got a weird closer haircut than usual...

Then the stupid idiot cat woke me up.

I'll miss you, Papa.

 Memoria in aeterna - G. L. "Papa" Holguin - 1921 - 2006 | Quid quid latine dictum sit, altum videtur  |  
 Added by Lord_Nougat  Wen's-day Joone 28st - 13:13:66 PST;

I know the two of you who still occasionally accidentally look at this site could give less than a rats ass about prebuilt Apache webserver packages... but mark my words: YOU WILL! Just think about it... one day you'll be all, "DAMMIT! Why isn't Apache compiling right?! Muvverthuckingthing!! PHP won't load as a module WTF!!!" Or, you know, something along those lines. Yes yes, so you're a fry cook or a delivery boy or a professional space mutant right now and you think these things don't pertain to you, but one day you'll need to set up a webserver; it's just a rite of passage we must all go through at some point. Well, some really nice people from some distant (and undoubtedly exceedingly strange) foreign land made this big ol mess of XAMPP. That probably translates roughly to: "OMFG how awesomely helpful, this stupid job was gonna make me have to stay late but now I'm all done all thanks to XAMPP! Oh thank you so much XAMPP for being so awesome!!".

Oh, so now I guess you want a link. Jeez I've spoiled you with links! Fine, here.

 Something completely ¿!  |  Nothing, a rude word
  When in doubt...
 Added by Lord_Nougat  Munday May 29st - 13:14:15 PST;

When in doubt, put cheese on everything.

That is the wisdom of the day, from us to you.

 Something completely different!  |  Comments, maybe even more
  Why I Can't Go Out With You:
 Added by Lord_Nougat  Thor's day Marchuary 16st - 13:14:66 PST;

I'd LOVE to, but ...

   -- I have to floss my cat.
   -- I've dedicated my life to linguini.
   -- I need to spend more time with my blender.
   -- it wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
   -- it's my night to pet the dog/ferret/goldfish.
   -- I'm going downtown to try on some gloves.
   -- I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
   -- I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
   -- I have an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
   -- I have some really hard words to look up.
   -- I've got a Friends of the Lowly Rutabaga meeting.
   -- I promised to help a friend fold road maps.

 Something completely different!  |  Comments, maybe even more
  Emphatically Polysyllabic Discourses on Miscellaneous Doodad Thingies
 Added by Lord_Nougat  Too's day januember 24st - 13:13:66 PST;

Kay. So, like, the administration here at DieYuppieScum.org (who deeply cares about you all so very very very much), have been getting complaints about the total lack of new forums in the last few "posts", such as they were. So, in order to rectify the situation, here is a new post, and it comes complete with everything shown here! Part of YOUR nutritious breakfast!

 Something completely different!  |  Stupid forum thing
 Added by Lord_Nougat  Munday Novembuary 21th - 13:13:66 PST;

Improvements have been made. To illustrate, I've made this helpful graph.

 Something completely different!  |  Comments, maybe even more
  Words and stuff and bla
 Added by Lord_Nougat  Tue's day Joon 14st - 13:66:66 PST;

So. Lord_Nougat has gotten a proper job again finally! That whole freelance bum thing was good for a time, and it served it's purpose well, but it's really a relief to not have to worry about where the money for some random bill or other, or the rent, is coming from next. Also, there's the whole benefits thing. On top of that, I get to work at a company that produces quality products like these and these. Now that's something to be proud of! A spree duh core or whatnot. Surely there are other more interesting things that I could be telling you about, yet still I don't. It's no wonder you never look at this page anymore. Oh well.

Ah yes, if you're a member of the special elite Nougat Corp inside circle or something, the secret mp3 directory has been obscenely expanded through the magic of Samba drivemapping, as well as other things. Also, as one might expect from a real site admin (and therefore not neccessarily of me), this site, and everything on it (aside from that Samba share junk) is getting backed up to a big ol tape now too! We'll have to all get together and have an exciting, glistening, lubrous party or something.

 Something completely different!  |  Yadda, whatever
  Not enough features for you?
 Added by Lord_Nougat  Teu's day Ape-ril 26st - 13:56:66 PST;

Lately, the biggest request we've been getting here at the dieyuppiescum.org development department is: More features!!! After all, all the cool sites have more features now, right?

Well, instead of adding more features, the only additions or changes made thusfar have been to our little tiny links page, and to the ads-'n-crap bar over there to the right. No, not that one, the other one down there, yeah, that one with all the ads and crap in it. Mainly just some more online comics and stuff that Lord_Nougat fancies. BUT...in honour of the road to hell, we're here to tell you about our good intentions: soon there might be a new feature added. At least there's a helpful tutorial-slash-howto ripped off from a real site that may or may not help our crack team of ultra-sexy programmers make something fabulous and new. Then there will really be something to announce!

As per usual, incredibly awesome links of terror and/or glee will magically (if slowly) appear in this hard-hitting article. Do enjoy, with insane means.

 Something completely different!  |  Join the fray
 Added by Lord_Nougat  Fry day febyooairy 4st - 13:56:66 PST;

Yeah. Um, so, in case you missed the "state of the union" thing... and I mean the real one, I saved it here. By request even. Mind you, this is the real uncut version, not that BS edited for TV version.
 Something completely different!  |  Comments, maybe even more

  Happy New Year
 Added by Lord_Nougat  Wen's day janyooairy 5st - 23:56:66 PST;

Happy new year, everybody! I was just reading my pathetic last post and noticed that it was stupid and lame, so here's one just to fool people into thinking I'm still alive.

Hey, all you people I didn't hear from yesterday, it was my birthday so just all pool your resources and get me one of these, or maybe one of these, or just build me a cool killer robot with which I could further my global plans for domination (and perhaps some other perversity). Heh, if you had that robot, you could honestly claim 'Oh, I'd never hurt a fly... but my ROBOT will!!! heehee

yeah, well, if something worth mentioning happens, perhaps I'll mention it later, otherwise email me or the pope or perhaps the president. Or maybe eat some chocolates. But watch out, I just ate lots of those things and now I'm all freaked out.

 Something completely different!  |  Comments, maybe even more
  The slack of it all! It boggles the mind!
 Added by Lord_Nougat  Munday sept 27st - 12:56:66 PST;

Jeez, I'm so sorry about never updating anymore! There have been many distractions and dieyuppiescum.org has been operating on an exceedingly minimal skeleton crew - apparently consisting of me and no one else at all!! People kept threatening to write articles and whatnot, but as threats have a tendency of being, they were empty.

Well, this is only a piece of an update, so don't get all happy and have parties yet! This "article" will contain actual links and content (so far as there's ever any "content") before too terribly long. I hope.

Oh, shh... don't tell Arkillian, I hid this here.
 Something completely different!  |  Words, bla bla

 Added by drshleckenbecker  Munday august 2st - 16:56:66 PST;

And yet again, from behind the curtain of Dieyuppiescum.org comes a majoko from a previous realm of the nougat...A wanderer in pages long lost in mists of time, from realms forgotten and realms destroyed....
And so I have come... to mark the downfall of yet another of his realms......
Or perhaps just to write a rather drab post on his most successful site as of late...

At any rate, I have yet to introduce myself...

My Name is Doctor S. S. Shleckenbecker, previous caretaker of Nougats.org when the lord himself abandoned it, self proclaimed vomitous poet, on-site majoko, and harbinger of doom (or so it seems) for the lords coveted realms. I shall be commandeering some of the lord's posting positions, as well as causing all around havoc to his site, just as any respectable Majoko should..
and so, with my message of foreboding doom..
I bid you a good day and pleasant journeys.
 Something completely different!  |  Complaints, protests, or perhaps some comments

  So, read any good books lately?
 Added by Lord Nougat  Wen's Day july 7st - 17:56:66 PST;

You need this. Trust me, you just need it.
 Something completely different!  |  Comments or whatever

  New Stuff!! Yay
 Added by Lord Nougat  Thorsday j00n 24st - 13:36:66 PST;

Oh man, I can't believe how very badly I've been shirking my important web duties! (Speaking of which, I can't believe that puerile, infantile, sophomoric embarassment to the web doodie.com is still around, but I digress).

Somehow, in the process of moving, I broke this server's page counter thingamadoodad. Hah, must have shaken some data off the drive! Ominously, this is not entirely as farfetched as it sounds, because if you're into watching such things, you have undoubtedly noticed that my uptime ( 06:18:40 up 228 days, 11:41, 0 users, load average: 0.00, 0.00, 0.00 ) is miserable these days. I'm encountering data corruption all over the drive, so it might be dying. I've gotten a replacement, but have thusfar been too lazy to run the disk duplication command. Come to think of it, I haven't even installed that drive, even though I've powered down the server. Well, you see, the job's been keeping me really busy, and all this working with windows machines and their users makes me get stupider. Right, that brings us back to the whole new counter thing. I installed it just now, but neglected to RTFM, so all the pagecounts are reset to zero. Oops. Oh well, Play safe, kids!

 Something completely different!  |  Bla bla blah
  Stupid DNS! Stupid ISP! Stupid!!!
 Added by Lord Nougat  Thor's day May 6st - 13:56:66 PST;

Sorry 'bout that downtime... in case anybody noticed, that is! Stupid stupid stupid DNS for some reason forgot about ALL my domains everywhere, except at my house and at the mediajerks.com domain (I think his webserver is still being antisocial, but his dns still kinda works). I freaked out, as downtime makes me do, and called my ISP thinking they'd be a good resource for good dependable fast DNS hosting. Well, I couldn't find anybody there who even knows what DNS hosting is!!! They're a business ISP fer jeebus' sake!!! What the eff has the world come to!?! I mean, I understand when I call the registrar (godaddy.com) and ask for dns hosting and they want to sell me webhosting instead because they're underpaid and just sell what's on the menu, but Cypress friggin Communications?! I heartily reccomend NOT choosing them if you have an aversion to stupidity or ever have a choice of something better. Also they NEVER return support calls... though whatever brought my connection down for a whole day last Friday did somehow magically get better overnight. I tell ya though, Megapath Networks was never this lame... oddly, thier sales department is obnoxious and difficult to deal with, but their engineers are wonderful! I may yet switch back to them, that is, if I can ever get their sales department to actually talk to me!!

Anyhoo, in other news, big upgrades are slated for the dieyuppiescum/nougats network of old and suspiciously trashlike machines. This here server is the fastest dependable machine alive in this place, and while that's really not a bad thing in itself, all the other machines just suck really bad! Also, the server itself wants an upgrade... there will be very little downtime, as I plan to build the new server especially fr the job, configure him, and copy everything over all niftylike, so it'll just be like a few minutes ideally... and not for a month or two at that. I'll surely run out of money in my quest for new hardware though, so it may be some ways off. Much to your chagrin, you'll surely be informed.

Oh, also, you need to get back into poetry. It's only a suggestion, really, but I'm ordering me a copy of this and surely, everyone wants to be like me!

 Something completely different!  |  Comments, maybe even more
  Stupid Taxes... grumblegrumble...
 Added by Lord Nougat  sundae april 17st - 13:13:13 PST;

So, yeah. The tax man has left me ruined, as per usual. That bastard. There has been no updates here for so long that I just forced myself to just write something; and the words just flow. Perhaps something interesting will emerge, but most likely not. I recently tried to buy a green Mini, a new one though. From the dealer. They nearly threw me out of the showroom after checking my (lack of) credit. I really ought to just take the bus. Maybe I will, I got to take lots of amusing pictures of stuff whilst riding the bus. Oh well, if I can't get a car, maybe a sidecar will do!

Oh, and by the way, the move is complete, and the new place is gorgeous! It just needs a bunch of furniture to hide mess inside of and it will be complete - so get us some ultra gorgeous downtown early 20th century-urbanish furniture for our housewarming party! It's gonna ba on May 1st, we've decided, so that it also falls on our anniversary - thus more incentive to bring fabulous pressies for us!! If you don't know where the new place is, just email me - I'll send you spam! Mmm...Spam.
  Something completely different!  |  Say stuf, if you want to
  Nougats are mobile, not sessile
 Added by Lord Nougat  Munday Marchus 22st - 16:56:66 PST;

Did I write something here about that pending move at some point? Geez, I really am lame - first I hardly ever update at all anymore, and now that I kinda do I can't even remember what I've even mentioned. I could look at the page myself, I suppose, but you never do, so I don't feel like it either.
Just kidding. The Nougat Palace is once again!! It rises into the skyline of Downtown LA, it's rightful, um, pueblo - or something. I am pretty darn stoked about this whole move, because it's just everything I wanted. Okay, a yard might've been nice, but mostly everything. Fair warning though... moving involves downtime. I know, it's too horrible to contemplate, but the most important site in the internet will not resolve right in all places for 48 hours or so, sometime after the 27th of this month. To make it up to you, I've gotten a T1 speed connection in the new place. Aren't I nice? It's okay, you don't need to give me your souls or make burnt offerengs (not that I'd mind). Bla bla. Carry on with all that exciting stuff you were doing... off you go. This site is only interesting if you're profoundly dysfunctional. Go on. Scoot!
 Something completely different!  |  This link does nothing

  Viva la RANT
 Added by Lord Nougat  FRYday Febrewery 27st - 23:56:66 PST;

WAKE UP! It's 1984 - Oingo Boingo

Listen to it now, or at least as soon as possible. It holds more meaning these days than ever. Paying attention to the world out in meatspace scares/enrages me, and my inability to do anything to hold back the tide of atrocity - the crimes against the world commited in our name! In some places I've started using a stupid alternate sig:

-Viva la revolucion!

thing is, it's just a pipe dream! Are such things even possible in this scary world we live in anymore? They call the Palestinians 'terrorists', but they call the Haitian death squads who are out to murder their own president 'rebels' ('they' in this case refers to MSN.com and the Los Angeles Times). Grr. Sorry, I felt the need to rant.

Also, good pertinent other stuff:
No More Heroes by the Stranglers
Bongo Bongo - Danny Kaye & the Andrews Sisters

Meatspace sucks, as soon as I can move all the way onto the net, I'm here to stay!

 Something completely different!  |  Comments, maybe even more
  My peoples, my peoples!
 Added by Lord Nougat  SaTURday Febyooary 21th - 21:56:66 PST;

Ahoy there!! I have something new to talk about! Well, not entirely new - sine I used to ride all the tim back in the day - but I get agead of myself. Obviously, I've taken up riding again. Riding what you ask? Don't be impetuous, I'll get to that. I've taken up cycling again, and I am considering joining the AIDS/LifeCycle ride. I am quite thoroughly out of shape, but I rode 30 miles last week, and though I felt really tired afterward, I was suprised about how well I was able to keep up for not riding for well over 5 years. My hair was short last time I rode a century ride! For the luddites out there, a 'century' in this case, is 100 miles. Myep, ow. Not such a big deal when you're in shape... so I'm gonna go on training rides with groups of other participants who already are part of this event! But enough about me...

'What do i have to do with your ridiculous insanity' you ask? Well, you want, above all else, to sponsor me! Each rider has to come up with $2500 in donations minimum. All the really cool riders raise a good deal more! I am only striving to be a rider, so the minimum is acceptable to me, especially this first time. Are there 100 of you out there who would be willing to part with $25 each? Any wealthy benefactors who wish to sponsor me for $2000 or more? (if there are, I'll send pix of me in my ultra sexxay cyclist racer outfit!!). You know, like that. At this point, I'm just trying to gauge how generous you good people will be willing to part with for a really good cause, and a really clever event. I promise to take pictures and write amusing junk about the ride too, if you should accept this mission. Also, I will say 'thank you', personally, and sincerely, most likely via this site, or email.

See, I'm just getting verbose again. I do that these days. Granted, I don't do that here, generally, but I do it nonetheless. Now is YOUR turn to talk, so go ahead.
 Something completely different!  |  So talk then

 As You Wish!
 Added by Lord Nougat  Fry Day, Feb 5st - 12:66:66 PST;

I have just been commanded to update this site, and your command is my wish, um, or something. Updating this site via a command console window on a client's server looks like it could theoretically be some kind of work...at least I hope it does!

Okay, so say you want to build something, do you shop at the Home Depot? I think not. Everybody knows that a monkey could do your job. Well, if cuddly plush microbes don't do it for you, you're probably into EXTREME type sport things, and you may even be a brilliant poet.

kay, well, bye
 something completely different!  |  bla bla bla
  Wow! You're still coming here?!
 Added by Lord Nougat  Munday january 19st - 10:66:66 PST;

Maintaining a website can be a fun and rewarding hobby. 'Hobby' is defined as: "Any of several small falcons of the genus Falco, formerly used for catching small birds or game." Also it is defined thusly: "n 1: an auxiliary activity [syn: avocation, by-line, sideline, spare-time activity]". This is all thanks to Dictionary.com. I think I'll go with that latter definition for now. a spare time activity. What is this 'spare-time' thing that they speak of? I do not possess any of this mysterious commodity. It is not tangible nor is it visible to me, so I have decided it does not exist.

Getting back on track now - my excuse for not having updated for so ridiculously long? It was the falcons!! No, it was Falco!! He keeps preventing me from having spare-time, somehow! I'll get you, Falco!!...Bwaaahahahahahahahaha...

or not, idunno.
 Something completely different!  |  Comments, maybe even more
 Added by Lord Nougat  Fryday Dec 26st - 11:56:66 PST;

I'm sorry I've been neglecting you, my pretties. Happy non-denominational secular-wintertime-holiday-time!

 Something completely different!  |  more
  Well, so much for having a slow week...
 Added by Lord Nougat  Tew's day NOvembr 25st - 11:56:66 PST;

...or updating more regularly. I know, you don't mind. Heck, you've lost interest in this site altogether. It's my fault really... everything's like that lately. 'I feel I'm on the cross again lately, but it's nothing to do with you...' as the song goes. I can't see why anyone would be in any way even remotely interested in reading about my problems, so instead, I will write about... hmm... Okay, I was searching for this for awhile, and I finally ended up finding it again. You know how it is, you do stuff and fun into difficulties and think to yourself, "someone, somewhere, knows the solution I'm looking for." then you notice that google has no idea who or where they or their answer might be so you slough on. Well, in this particular case, I am referring to art. There have been legions of artists supremely more skilled, or perhaps just more trained than I; surely a little of their knowledge must be recorded somewhere... and to really up the ante, some dood on some site once critisised my dorky drawings (which made both me and baby jesus cry), but it as actually constructive criticism, so the crying didnt last too long. He mentioned I should read, well, pretty much ALL books I could find by loomis. So, who t.f. is this loomis he speaks of? Well, in a word, this is. Currently I am seriously diggin' the figure drawing book. wow.

 Something completely different!  |  the top of the page, till i feel like finishing this
  It only looks like I've ceased to exist
 Added by Lord Nougat  Munday Nov 17st - 09:56:66 PST;

I've been sickeningly busy...but isn't that just always the excuse. Who cares about excuses anyway.

I have, however, been updating - just halfheartedly and quietly. I'm still regularly adding to my utterly horrifying links page, in the vain hope I might use some of those things in articles someday or something. Yeah right - I guess there's always the possibility...

Then there's that art addiction I've been somehow inflicted with. Idunno, it's probably just another lame excuse, but there are pretty much all the art sites I visit pretty regularly - so that's where a fair chunk of 'free time' goes; then there's my feeble attempts at creating my own 'art' (it's in there somewhere - but there's far better stuff to be looked at), then there are the other web addictions like morons.org, goats.com, sluggy, and other stuff too. It's just crazy.

Fair warning to you, my good listeners, though: Looks like this might be a slow week workwise (an ironically nice thing for a change - the grass is always greener...), so there might be a sudden influx of stupid updates.

 Something completely different!  |  Comments, maybe even more
  Just a glimmering spark
 Added by Lord Nougat  Fryday October 17st - 21:56:66 PST;

Fair warning here - this is one of those 'serious' posts.

It's also full of words, so I moved it here
   |  Here it is, if you care to look
 Added by Lord Nougat  Munday October 6st - 14:56:66 PST;

Being obsessed with stuff all the time tends to be viewed as some kind of psychological disorder or something bad like that, doesn't it? Well, everybody always seems to be obsessed with stuff. Lord_Nougat is perfectly grounded aqnd cool and spiffy and all that- not obsessed. Okay, you've got a point there... I did actually come out and specifically say that certain videogames had been devouring vast quantities of my spare time. It was true, but you see, the times have changed. All this 'work' stuff has ruined all that. I havent played any videogames at all since a little after that, um, article was written. Well, except for some junk on gamecube with my brothers, but that doesn't count, because that's at their place, not mine... I have no gamecube of my own... also I played very poorly and got killed all the time...so it really doesn't count.

'So there are no obsessions in the nougat factory right now?' you may be wondering... well, lady_nougat is ALWAYS obsessed with her art... that's just a given - but lord_nougat has recently made feeble attempts at being artistic again. Everybody and their brother (who may or may not actually be an actual monkey) has indeed been pestering him to 'do art' again for, well, at least a week, if not 10 years... he's a bit forgetful - he always just falls back on that tired old 'brain damage' excuse or something. It must be true, seeing as he writes about himself in the 3rd person sometimes (but not others - indication some kind of erratic instability- he calls it "whimsey". Clearly he has watched Martha Stewart too many times.)

okay. the ratio of regular words to words that are links is sadly feeble, so I will stop now; but fear not, puny mortals! More links shall magically appear little by little! The forum thing might even work again if I get bored enough here at this job (and if nobody realises this is not really some kind of advanced server admin chocolate doh-doh wave recalibration thing or something). Eurgh, what I mean to say is, I am gonna let this appear as a new 'article', but it will 'grow' over time. Probably 6 or 7 hours from now - give or take a month.
 Something completely different!  |  Comments, maybe even more

  Nougat Shortage!
 Added by Lord Nougat  sundae Ogg-est 28st - 13:56:66 PST;

This the excuse DieYuppieScum.org is officially going with...

There is a major Nougat shortage in this region.

Clearly, what this means, is that Lord_Nougat has finally been offered a full time position! He, most likely, will accept this offer if he knows what's good for him...but seeing as how he's talking about himself in 3rd person, who can really say if he's aware of, or even concerned with, his well-being. This job is a torturous thing for keeping a site updated, at least in it's current form: you see, there's a different worksite most every day, and seldom is there any access to a PC one could ssh into this server with to do updates for more than the briefest moments... you see, I'm there to fix the machines and networks...not to use them - darnit.

Not to worry, Oh faithful acolytes! The Lord(_Nougat) shall soon have a more set schedule as he's been entrusted with several ongoing support contracts, and will therefore be visiting set locations on a regular basis, and will therefore most likely start taking his laptop with him; for clearly professional reasons of course. It still has a dead battery, but being a salaried employee ought to help resolve that issue relatively quickly. One would hope.
 Something completely different!  |  Comments, maybe even more

  Battle Hymn of The NOUGAT!
 Added by Lord Nougat  SaTURDay Septembor(ing) 6st - 13:56:66 PST;

Rampaging out of the cliffs, wielding a reflective halberd, cometh LORD_NOUGAT! And he gives a vengeful bellow:

"Hail the blood-letting! I pilliage and burn like a klepto-pyro!!!"

Yep. I admit it. I've been neglecting, well, most everything. The first step is admitting there is a problem: "Hello. Um. My name is Lord_Nougat, and I'm addicted to videogames." Old videogames at that: Half-life, Counterstrike, DiabloII, Freecell... you get the idea. And just when there's an end in sight; just when I think I'm getting my videogame obsession under control... they find a way to keep me addicted!

 Something completely different!  |  more, dammit
  Finally! Another Update
 Added by Lord Nougat  Munday August 18st - 11:15:66 PST;

Sheesh. Not just stupid, but lazy as well, it would seem.
Things have been a little sketchy the past month or so at the Nougat Factory, but business is thankfully picking up. When stuff is going so wrong, I just find it difficult to get anything involving creativity done; and that's my excuse.

So. On to the news. The news can be so depressing sometimes, so this section will be breif:
Saddam Accused of Camping - I hear the U.S. is using noclip though.
Reliably predictable news from Flori-Duh.

Okay. That's all I got at the moment. There's altogether waay too much piled up in me links page, which is where I put stuff I find that will eventually be used in something.... theoretically. If you click on it, you'll see what I mean. That's what I call a queue. With any luck, though, I'll become remotivated and inspired again, and the jarringly excellent content you've grown to expect to reliably gush forth from this site shall once again resume.

P.S. Send me money... business hasn't improved that much.

 Something completely different!  |  Comments, maybe even more
  Lord_Nougat is Stupid
 Added by Lord Nougat  Munday july 28st - 23:56:66 PST;

Okay, it's been scientifically proven: Lord Tiberius J. Nougat is stupid.

Well, you can find the scientific results right there where it says, "The Scientific Results".
 Something completely different!  |  The Scientific Results

 A Little Story
 Added by Lord Nougat  Munday july 21st - 11:56:66 pM PST;

Okay, well, maybe it didn't actually turn out to be an actual story, but 'story' just sounds a little better than 'aimless meandering randomness'. Well, you'll see what I mean. After you click on the correct link, of course.

 Something completely different!  |  The Correct Link
 Added by Lady Nougat  Munday july 14st - 1:56:66 aM PST;

My dog lay panting, almost making a vocal sound like she might be in pain - but not in a way I could help her with.

She had fallen, scared by an explosion on Independence day...


 Something completely different!  |  The rest of this piece
 Unsettled, Uninspired, and a Dollar Short
 Added by Lord Nougat  SaTURDay July 5st - 11:56:66 aM PST;

So, I never understood how we could celebrate 'Independance', when we're a union of interdependant 'states'. Shouldn't it be more along the lines of 'Codependance Day' or perhaps 'Interdependance Day'. Well these days it's quite honestly more like 'Dependant on the Mercy of the Almighty Market Economy - Day'. At any rate, we... (Continued)

 Something completely different!  |  The rest of the so called article
 And now, the Editorial Op Ed and Somesuch
 Added by Lord Nougat  Too's-day J00n 17st - 17:56:66 PST;

Well, I'm sure most of you are already familiar with the esteem with which I regard the current regime; if you aren't already familiar, you simply must have missed it somehow... surely an honest mistake. Speaking of honesty, it would appear to me that- through brilliant deductive reasoning, (like Sherlock Holmes himself might notice), that living in a large relatively fabulous house in America causes otherwise decent folk to become liars; (and even completely unscrupulous and dim-witted people in this case). Okay, I hear you saying 'that's an overbroad generalisation', and you better goddamn well shut the fzzk up or I'll stop this car and come back there. Not that you don't have a perfectly valid point, but really now, these days merely questioning the authority of reichfuerer Ashcroft and the Uber Friends (tm) can get you an all expense paid trip to Club-med Guantanamo Bay...forever. (if they can find you)

Well, duty calls; hence this article ends here

 Something completely different!  |  Nothing at the moment is here
 Newer, Stronger, Better
 Added by Lord Nougat  Wen's day Mae 28st - 20:56:66 PST;

...or however that Bionic Man intro thing went...
I just got my mobo today, and you know, that last board was a bit buggy it's whole life and I never even knew! Everything is running better and faster now, and the settings are all the same!! Actually, this is right out of the box, with just the most basic settings performed so far... my dnet's running well over 4 megakeys again, the proc isn't heating up much more than 60C, (well maybe it's just a more pessimistic heat sensor on the board... but then perhaps the last one liked to exagerate)

 Something completely different!  |  Continued...
 Nope. No updates here
 Added by Lord Nougat  Two's day Mae 27st - 23:56:66 PST;

Well, there's still nothing to update on the dramatic hardware front, so for all you folks out there who have been driven away by my lack of updates or new content, well, you all just be drivin yo selves on back over here right this minute! See, I remembered what this site is all about... it's like the name implies: DieYuppieScum - well, you see, that's German for something along the lines of 'The Big Stupid Looking...
 Something completely different!  |  Continued...

 System Update
 Added by Lord Nougat  day Mae 23st - 19:56:66 PST;

System update:

I believe my proc is still fine... it runs pretty hot, but it's certainly not cutting-edge anymore... it's an Athlon 1400MHz, whateverthehell they were called before they named them XP with different numbers and all that crap. Thunderbird, I believe it is called, ya I think that's it. The motherboard was an Asus A7A266, and I bought another one; identical model. I'm hoping that whole burning up thing was a fluke. This board is pretty decent otherwise, it can use either expensive-assed DDR RAM or nice cheap SDRAM (half the speed, but a tenth of the price... guess which I use). Also, it has 5 pci slots and AGP Pro 2x, for whatever that's worth. It has some other dumb features I don't use, and also BIOS controlled settings for everything... but it also has jumpers to change those selfsame settings if you're into that kind of thing. I love it dearly. Apparently I am blinded by that love.

 Something completely different!  |  Continued
 Smoke on the motherboard, Fire in the wallet
 Added by Lord Nougat  day May 21nd - 12:56:66 pM PST;

Okay, so a friend of mine emailed me because I've been whining about my dearth of functional harddrives. Long story, but what the hell, that's what this site is all about, right? heh. Well, the short version is, I was turned on to this really cool sounding new distro by a friend of mine, and intend to try it out. Thing is, all my harddrives are already in use... and useful use at that; you know serving webpages, mp3s, porn, blaa dee bla. So, I wanted to put a second harddrive, in this machine I'm using right now. Well, he offered me a harddrive. haha, right on.

Sadly, I've suddenly got a more pressing issue.

 Something completely different!  |  Continue
 Alive, Dead, Here and Elsewhere: Simultaneously
 Added by Lord Nougat  Monday Aprilember 28st - 1:11:11 pM PST(pacific stupid time);

So, at times we all find ourselves scrounging for change under the sofa-cushions for a coffee at Phillipe's, in between jobs, dreading the massive growing sum the IRS keeps asking for, eagerly anticipating the unemployment cheques, and feeling sorry for ourselves as we engage in the futile habit of checking our mildly spamful inbox for responses to the resumes sent out, and then over said coffee feeling sorry for ourselves and all that kind of stuff. You know? Well, that's what I was doing today anyway. Sorta. Except I made my own coffee, having wisely invested in a big backup supply when the funding was still present.

Well, no time like the present to get to the point: here we were, sitting here all pitiful, thinking nobody liked us, when, out of some neurotic boredom, we started reading server logs.
The truly weird part is, and also the part that ruined my perfectly good self-pity session was noticing the bizarre fact that somebody likes us after all. Not just anybody, but Schroedinger's Cat! I'm just kidding, they probably don't actually like us, per se, but found something on this freakish site amusing. And really now, there have been a good few others that have helped (wow!!), or had the audacity to link to this crapheap at least, and I thank you all: 'Thank You All'.

 Something completely different!  |  Comments, maybe even more
 By Popular Demand
 Added by Lord Nougat  day Aprilember 13st - 10:56:66 aM PST;



...Older crap...

MicrosoftAntiSpywareInstall.exe, in case you're annoyed by the stupidness of microsoft's tinyflacid site too.

Hey, we now have a forum! Check it out if you think you have something to say!

That new WoW patch [11.1-11.2], in case you have a gig connection to this server or something. Blizzard's downloader can be poopy; and their mirrors are ultrashite!

Sally's new and improved quotes of the day(s)!

So, how do people find this site, anyway?

Cool Robot of the Week (...David Cook is a cool robot!)

A petition to sign

Jeff Ballard's BOFH-style excuse of the day can be found here

Quote for the day: "He who joyfully marches to music in rank & file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice." -Attributed to Albert Einstein

Lady Nougat's quote of the "day" is: "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there" -Rumi

"You think you're hot shit, from what I've heard. But you ain't nothing but a cold turd." From a song called Fuck Off by Wayne/Jayne County and the Electric Chairs.

Loristar's Excuse of the Day:

My sister is a turd sometimes.


Well, That's not really an excuse; how 'bout this: "Here you go. All that was needed was to parse the cat root slash dev etcetera file for eth0 and pugle the forward identity-locking rehooliginator and symlink it to the libgc perl humongisooler module and format your slashdir.handletop form driver after a kernel decompile and basic repatch update. Nothing to it, just RTFM and you'll figure it out!"

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